Tuesday, September 21, 2010

...The wisdom to know the difference

A few days ago I proclaimed to myself: " I'm done praying, bored with eating, over loving" as I read someone's tweet talking about Eat.Pray.Love.

Last week, I had picked up my friends copy of the book and read a few pages - the words touched something in me, almost begging me to see my own truth and make decisions about my life. I need to read the rest of the book, but for now I have my story to live and tell.

I have dreams, big and small. Sometimes I think they are stupid, sometimes I think they are impossible, sometimes they keep me up at night, but the most important part is the fact that I have dreams again. After my trip around the world courtesy of Smirnoff a couple years ago, I came back somewhat empty. I had now lived my biggest dream - to travel, and I didn't really expect to have happened before I hit 25. It happened, and I'm forever grateful, even though the 2 years since have been torturous for my soul. Me dreaming again means I'm finally waking up and wanting to live and get more out of life. Don't know how I will make any of it happen, but I will.

* I'm in two minds about sharing what it is I'd like to do on such a public forum. So, for now, I'll whisper it to the universe *

Today, I put the final nail on the coffin of a long and weird relationship. A man who had been a part of my life in some way or form over past 3 years, we went through our ups, downs, breaks up and make ups and today, finally we died. For the sake of my self love I had to make a really difficult call and walk away, for the very last time. Good times were had, and I know I will miss him very much, I will forgive myself and him and I will emerge. I had to be selfish, I had to put myself first and out of harms way, I had to realise the fantasy wasn't meant to be. I'm proud of myself for the strength and taking back control of my life.


Today, the serenity prayer visited my heart and I spoke the words, without hesitation,however from in the past tense. God GAVE me the strength to change what I could not accept, the courage to change what I could and ....wisdom to know the difference. This I am grateful for

In work, in play, in love, we need to exercise the wisdom to know the difference.

Focus. Eliminate distraction. Beat obstructions. Learn. And march forward believing in our dreams.

No matter how many disappointments I face, dark days when I wonder if any of this will make sense, I promise myself to keep marching, never give up but know when to let go and try another avenue.

Failure is choosing not to get up. We do our best, even if the road to tomorrow is unclear.

Love, light and laughter

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

... To be thankful

As I typed the title, Yolanda Adams' song 'Open up my heart' popped into my head. I think that it is the perfect soundtrack to my path right now.

So to begin; I've moved back to Joburg, Jozi, Jobusy, Jonasbeg, Johazardous and it's been just over a week since I touched down. I left Cape Town with a heavy heart as I felt I hadn't even begun to do the things I'd set my mind to accomplish in the year I spent. But regret and missed/ unacknowledged opportunity aside, I realise I will have another chance to spread my wings - maybe even in another country altogether. Before I let my fantasies take me away to dreams beyond, I need to concentrate on the right now. The now that has me in this unfamiliar city I've spent 15 odd years of my life... JiggyJointville.

The past few months have been riddled with confusion, distraction, states of limbo and so much more I can't quite articulate right now, I can however express the realisation I've been in a negative state of mind.

Today, I'd like to take the opportunity to be thankful for what I do have and not allow what I lack, even though this lack exists, to bury my in darkness. I don't want to be Alice falling down the rabbit hole anymore, I don't want to be consumed by this deep and burning sense of failure that seems to have extinguished the fire in my eyes and passion in my heart...

I'm thankful for the people who have believe and believed in me, through it all. It means so much; humbling and inspiring.
I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given to find my voice - I'm still trying.
I am thankful that everyday I'm learning that I can be great at anything I put my mind to.
I am thankful that I know I am running from my own greatness. This hard truth is setting me free - one step at a time.

I keep walking. I keep trying. I will be better, for me and in turn for whoever crosses my path on their own journey to greatness. Our gifts, talents, skills aren't ours to keep - we learn, to share.

Bless

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

...to be wonderful



Woke before sunrise to have my breakfast before the sun said hello... and for the first time in a long time I felt peaceful. I stayed outside on the balcony watching as tentative rays of light raced to crash against Table Mountain, and so I watched, and watched and allowed myself to be still and be.

I had a to do list as long as my arm, boxes that needed to be ticked and miracles had to be begged out of their hiding place, but I just sat there quietly and let the world of morning wash over me. This day began unlike any other - I was still and I flowed to a beat not manufactured by fear.

Instead of rushing back into the warmth of the bed to catch another half hour of snooze, I instead went through the motions of being lead by an unknown force. I put away my problem solving woman persona and rather let her snooze away - I just let the day happen and I didn't fight against it.

For the first time in a long time I didn't let the knot of anxiety in my tummy paralyse and depress me. With no real plan, and just reactions to a bad situation I breathed as if I actually believed everything would be okay. Oh and heavens did this day happen.

Got a call from a large creative agency for an interview for a job later this week, received an email from someone complimenting my blog, spent a great hour or so with the O fashion team chatting, laughing, sharing and planning, wandered the streets running into people I hadn't caught up with in a while, brainstormed an incredible arts and crafts development project with some awesome people, enjoyed a home cooked dinner with my boys, and finally hung out with two beautiful and quirky women discussing the day, life, dreams and craziness. Along of things happened today that point in the right direction, all too much to detail now, but what I do know for sure is that all will be fine. I ticked off all the tasks, even added a few items as the hours passed, completed them and achieved more than I imagined I would, just by being present in my own life.

I breath a little easier tonight. Tomorrow I plan to give more to the day and let myself live, be alive and trust in the core of my being that even though choices need to made, not all decisions are mine to make, and the most important thing is to work with what I've got, show gratitude and do my very best to realise my dreams.
One day at a time.

I am peaceful.

The road is still long, but I am equipped.

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."
— Marilyn Monroe

Monday, August 23, 2010

I NEED: Subway Wayfarer



I have no words really...



Never before have I coveted an item as much I do these shades


Why oh why did the interweb let me see them. I'm trembling as I type this. 


Take Ray Ban Wayfarer (my fav style) add some quirk creatively (subway map) and make sure the quirk pulls a heart string (NYC subway map - one of my top 5 cities) an voila, we have superlative beauty





I want. I need. I love. 
The above style is apparently widely available at $145

Below style is a little more exclusive. Either way - I WANT. I NEED. I LOVE
A special Subway-inspired Wayfarer releases from Ray-Ban. Featuring a pattern replicating New York City’s iconic subway system, the Wayfarers come with a red leather case. The Ray-Ban “Subway” Wayfarer is limited to 100 pieces and will be only available through swagger retailers across Japan


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Sweet 16

As I mentioned earlier, tonight I was on a mission to sort out a pair of loved earrings: The Chappies

I then decided to clear out my treasure chest of adornments by throwing out the useless (read: damaged) or the unloved (read: boring) and reintroduced myself to the beautiful collection, which is now at a total of 50 great pairs.


Here is my Sweet 16 (read: can't live without)
Quirky and unique

I would list them, but I think they are pretty self explanatory.

My love for these accessories materialised when I started shaving my head in 2002. You can't argue with the fact that hair is as much an accessory as anything else. Earrings have become my obsession.

Quirkville makes happy

A

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Chappies Bubble Gum

Tonight's crafty activity: Replace my missing /lost / eaten Chappies bubblegum earring

I'm a fanatic for weird and wonderful accessories

I got theses wickedly awesome earrings in 2008 in Cape Town, unfortunately, somewhere along the line, I lost one, or someone ate it. They were bought from accessories label - Minx, which was then stocked at a store named 'Nylon' located just off Long Street. Nylon no longer exists and I have no idea where to find this Minx. See my predicament?

Thankfully I'm a problem solver; so this afternoon I bought the replacement Chappies (for a whole 25c each) to recreate the pair. Let's hope this goes well.

Wish me luck :)

Goodbye Winter?

Today was such a gorgeous day in Cape Town.

Spent most of the day on location on some rocky 'beach' close to The Twelve Apostles Hotel - (have no idea what the area is called). I'll blog about the day in more detail later; what I wanted to address is a comment my friend made after I proclaimed "Hello Summer, I missed you"
Showered in light
Early arrival on location


He pointed out, truthfully, that even though Cape Town weather over the past few weeks has been sunny and glorious, it wouldn't be wise to think winter has said its final goodbye.

Come September and October the dark clouds, rain and cold will be back to help us appreciate the sweet once the bitter disappears.


Having also posted the "Hello Summer" status on facebook, I received this comment from my friend Odwa

Mr. Burst My Bubble


I guess it's not yet time to put away the boots, coats and warm Russian furry hats. Either way, I'm going to enjoy the good that is RIGHT NOW.


On a cold winter's day



Hello today, I'll live you.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Don't judge my dirty All Stars

Was having a chat on twitter with @Converse_Africa and I was reminded of the love / hate / misunderstood relationship I have with sneakers / tekkies etc.


I don't really wear sneakers, of any kind, I just don't know how. My feet feel gigantic and my ankles are tiny. The last time I had running shoes, for example, was in High School - I just don't well in that department... but it's okay. 


Before my Smirnoff globetrotting trip in 2008 started I decided to break this laceless life of mine and I got myself a pair of white Converse All Stars. The plan was to wear them at least once in every single city /island we visited and never wash them until until I got home. I did, it was fun, and they soaked up love in every city.


13 months, 32 odd cities and taa daa, my not so white All Stars. I tried to wash them once, but then felt bad, as though I was washing away memories... this is where the trouble begins. I have this really cute outfit I'd like to wear today, and in my head it would look great paired with my All Stars. Will I be judged for wearing a really awesome skirt and dirty shoes? 






I was once told that All Stars shouldn't look brand new, and the 'dirt' gave them character. I'm not too sure about that. 


Catch me at Misael tonight for the Champagne Exhibition event and see if I go through with the shoes...


Happy Friday the 13th...

Thursday, August 12, 2010

#CreativeActivist: Miss Milli B


In this installment of Creative Activist I take my hat off to bright young thing Milisuthando Bongela. The Umtata born 25-year-old writer, fashionista, trend observer, fashion commentator and businesswoman, who lives in Joburg, takes us through her journey in the fashion, blogging and activist worlds she lives and loves. Milisuthando’s online footprint is quite comprehensive, so I wanted to delve deeper and find things we wouldn’t readily find out just by googling the creative activist.
By far, the most interesting person I've had the pleasure of knowing and I know you will agree after reading this. Miss Milli is an inspiration…

Who is the bella named Miss Milli?
Miss Milli is actually my digital persona, though it's a nickname I've inherited in the past couple of years. I am my mother's child, meaning I'm not a regular or normal Xhosa girl. I've never swum with the current and I think that sums me up.
       
What are some of the many hats you don?
I'm a freelance wheeler-dealer. I'm a journalist by "training" but I also write what I see. I listen and observe then formulate a point of view from the default of being a bilingual black woman living in South Africa. I'm also interested in developing the fashion industry through my writing but also practically by working to find solutions to the many problems we face. Right now, I'm putting my money where my mouth is by half focusing my energies on selling South African designers through Pulchritude.

When did you first fall in love with fashion?
The light went on when I was sitting on my bed one Sunday afternoon reading my older sister's Cosmopolitan magazine.  My heart stopped when I saw Themba Darkie's clothes for the first time.  I used to wear vintage when it was very uncool and seeing it in a magazine validated my sense of style somehow in my 15-year-old mind. It was then that I knew I needed to be part of this industry.

How did you know you wanted to be a writer?
I still don't know if I should be one, or that I am one. It's a big thing to call yourself when you are still learning the ropes. My dad was an accomplished author so I've always had the skill.  It's a daily process of packing and unpacking.

Tell me about the journey of finding what you want out of life and self?
It's still happening.  A lot of young people in South Africa are restless. Clever, talented people and I think it's because we are the first generation to really have anything we bloody well want - everything is so accessible.  I've done a lot of different things in an effort to "find what I was meant to do" and I think even though I have not had the Eureka moment, I get closer to it every day because I'm so hungry for it.  I have no patience for doing things for money or security. I need to be able to sleep well at night and that's been my goal since I left Cosmo at the end of 2007. This is the happiest time for me. I finally took the leap and although it's not easy - I know I made the right choice.

When did you start blogging and why?
I started my blog in February 2010 just before I went to New York Fashion Week. I wanted to document my journey. It's kinda grown since then and I'm proud of myself for maintaining it, I hardly ever follow through with things like that.

Tell me about your Missmillib blog?
It's become something more than just a place to find cool, alternative fashionistas, photographers and images. It's my own private magazine and a platform for me to be heard without shouting. I love it and am so grateful for the 95 people that follow it and for the ones to who take the time to read it, even if they don't agree with me.

How do you find balance being writer, blogger, fashionista, and creative activist?
I meditate when I can't take it (the work) anymore. I write in my journal when I've been doing too much of what I call "veneer living" - where one just lives on the surface of things.  I am also very fortunate to have wise and loving people that I surround myself with, people who remind me that the most important thing is to be a good person, do for and stand for what is fundamentally right. I spend days by myself so that's a great way of getting things done, because it's all on me.

Where do you find your inspiration?
I find it from people who do things that I admire, or things that I would like to associate myself with.

How do you define creativity?
To me, creativity is the ability to make people feel just by looking, listening and touching.  It's one of God's gifts to humans.

What is the importance of finding inspiration from Africa?
Creatively, I don't think there are many other places to find the inspiration that Africa can conjure up.  It's important that we are inspired by and use our surroundings to communicate our message to the world.  The world is almost out of original ideas, and we are sitting on plenty.  This place is inspiring because there is so much that can still be done to make it what it was meant to be.

       
Some of the high’s and lows of the fashion writing business?
Being misinterpreted or misrepresented is definitely a low that exists in both and sometimes that's not in my control.  I love fashion because we are a young industry that's still making mistakes and everyday is an opportunity to rectify those mistakes. There are so many possibilities.
                   
What are some of the accolades you've received?
Just one, I'm still very young. I won the Sanlam Journalism Award in 2009 and I'm wondering whether I'll be the last "Sanlam" winner because they have since pulled out of the fashion industry. I'd hate that.



Tell me about your trip to New York Fashion week
I chose to go to NY after I won the Sanlam Journalism Award. The prize was that I could go to any fashion event in the world between a specific time, then I'd have to come back and write about it.  I decided to blog about it for SA Fashion Week because they were kind enough to hook me up with a bit of work experience while I was there.  Instead of attending the shows as a spectator or journalist, I wanted to see what happens behind the scenes at NYFW.  Lucilla Booysen introduced me to her friend and creator of Video Fashion, Marlene Cardin who created the media company in the 1970s in NY.  It's like style.com but it's an actual channel in many countries and it's all about covering fashion news from shows to designer interviews.  I was there as a spot marker, meaning I had to be specific shows marking the spot for Video Fashion's photographers and cameramen on the media riser, the place at the end of the runway where photographers stand. It was amazing to say the least because I got to see things that the magazines and websites don't cover; I got to see how shows are put together. It was amazing seeing people like Kirsten Dunst, Sasha Pivovarova, Lara Stone, Andre Leon Talley and Whoopi Goldberg but a meter from me just doing their thing.  I will definitely go back to NY. Their fashion industry is a prototype of a system that works. It's not as couture and intimidating as the European Fashion Scene, in terms of talent, some of our designers could be places right next to American designers.  But when it comes to the structure of the American industry, we lag faaaaaar behind.  Everybody has a role and EVERYTHING is taken very very seriously, which isn't the case in SA. There are rankings and organisation when it comes to who does what - the media, models, guest, buyers and designers each do what they need to do to make sure the machine runs and it was amazing to watch. We will get there though.  What do they say about Rome?

*read Mili’s “Lessons from NY Fashion Week” here

Which cities hold a special place in your heart and why?
Johannesburg.  I mean I like the other places I've been to but I have a serious love hate relationship with Joburg. No other place winds me up and down like Jozi and it's gritty beauty. I also really really loved New York.  You really have to know who you are and what you are about to feel adequate there. There's something daring about that.  I'd love to go to San Francisco and Tokyo soon.


What do you love about Joburg?
This place lacks the complacency you find in other South African cities. People hustle the hell out of life here and I love that black people don't have to feel out of place in fancy places. I don't think there's any other place on earth where black women are as celebrated. That means a lot to me.

What is your new baby, Pulchitrude, about?
It's still very much a baby.  The concept behind Pulchritude is to take local designers to the streets.  One aspect of the traveling shop is the market sales I have at the Jozi Food Market every month and wherever else if I've got stock.  Through that, I meet new customers and shop buyers and the idea is form relationships with both.  I want to take designer clothes to shops all over the country and as a result, make the clothes more accessible to the public all over South Africa.  I have 8 different clothing and jewelry designers each month and the aim is to build a brand (Pulchritude) that will be synonymous with the growth and flourishing of South African fashion.

Where else can people see / purchase?
One day, it will be online but for now, Joburgers must come to the month end sales at Jozi Food Market, or my house when there's bubbly.  The best places of course, are emporiums like Just, Mememe, Big Blue and The Space - places that stock only locally produced designer clothing. That's where people can start.


The future of Pulchitrude– where to from here?
Around the country; I may even employ a person or twenty one day. There's a lot on the books, stay tuned.

How do we get hold of you?
email: milisuthandobongela@gmail.com - this is the best way to contact me


Misael invites you

As we all know, Cape Town Fashion Week has kicked off, with the launch party last night (no, I wasn't there) and the shows begin today...


More importantly though, Misael, the creative space we know and love offers you a chance to catch your breath, meet and connect with Cape Town's finest, enjoy delicious nibbles, sip on some bubbly and savour the creativity of of the city's most inspiring art |style | design | food | emporium 


You can't say no


So be there tomorrow Friday 13 August and immerse yourself in splendor. 

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